Paul Koeck's blog

On Friday, I will give my training at the Lithuanian Parliament. You can also follow with live video streaming on the internet in English and Lithuanian translation:

„How can Leaders and Governments resolve unemployment with „Solution Focused Reactivation Strategies“?

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My actual teaching schedule:

• Monday 26th: teaching the Masters in Organizational Psychology : “Solution Focused Business Coaching” (201 auditorium, faculty of philosophy)
• Tuesday 27th: teaching the Masters in Clinical & Health psychology: “Solution Focused Cognitive Therapy” (201 auditorium, faculty of philosophy)
• Tuesday 27th: teaching the Masters in Organizational Behavior: “Coaching & Leadership” (204 auditorium, faculty of communication)
• Wednesday 28th: teaching in the course “Strategic information and knowledge management” (with prof. Zenona Atkociuniene): “Leadership in an International Context & Strategic Leadership” (203 auditorium, faculty of communication)
• Thursday 29th October: Meeting at Belgian Embassy
• Thursday  29th October: JCI Training for JCI Vilnius about “The Secret of Coaching yourself to successful Leadership & Personal Habits in 30 days!” ISM university (Arkliu street 18, Vilnius, see: http://www.facebook.com/JCI.VILNIUS )
• Friday  30th October: Training Lithuanian Parliament: How can Leaders & Governements resolve unemployent with “Solution Focused Reactivation Strategies”?

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JCI Vilnius  organizes a seminar with me on thursday evening 29th October at 18.30 – 22.30 hs: “The Secret of Coaching yourself to successful Leadership & Personal Habits in 30 days!”  by Dr. Paul Koeck, IG. (ISM university, Arkliu street 18, Vilnius).  .

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Chess World Champion Gary kasparov came over to Belgium this week. He analyses his own success secrets. Since it connects very closely to my personal experience as a Business Coach of highly effective leaders, I wanted to summarize some key idea’s:

1. Reflect on your ‘Decision Process’:
   1. analyze how you take decisions in your life: become counscious of how you took your succesfull decisions and make reflecting on your decisions a habit. This will lead to creating a personal decision style.
   2. success is the consequence of the quality of your decision processes, and long term success of the quality of your improvement process of making better decisions read more »

Vilnius University invited me to teach some classes in Solution Focused Coaching in their master program of organisational psychology and Solution Focused Therapy  to the master students in clinical & health psychology together with some classes at the faculty of communication. It dates since 2004 that I visted Lithuania. I remember teaching my first workshop there about intercultural management in their parliament, only 5 days after the borders had been opened to EU countries. The Baltic states are active since they entered Europe. read more »

Tonight I rejoin my friends at the European JCI Conference in Budapest in the Corinthia Hotel till saturday evening.  Looking forward to learning new insights and discovering old & new friends. If you are there, leave me a note at the reception so that we can meet.

A discussion with a friend reminded me following transcript of a diaogue among two of my most important mentors. It reflects deeply my personal beliefs about Lasting Love:

In 1959, Jay Haley, the famous family therapist, asks his mentor, Milton H. Erickson, MD, the words most renowned hypnotherapist and psychiatrist: “If you were to describe what a good marriage is, how would you describe it?” Milton H. Erickson replies: When I describe a good marriage to my patients, I point out to them that there are essentailly four kinds of Love:

1. The infantile type of love, “I love me.”
2. The next stage, “I love the me in you. I love you becaue you are my brother, my mother, my father, my sister, my dog. The ‘me’ in ‘you’.
3. Then the adolescent type of love, “I love you because your dancing pleases me, and because your beauty pleases me, and because your brains please me.”
4. The adult stage of love wherein, “I want to love you and cherish you because I want to see you happy, because i can find my happiness in your happiness. The happier you are, the happier, I’ll be. I’l find my happiness in yours. Il” find delight in your pleasure and intellectual persuits. I’ll find a delight in your enjoyment of dancing.” So the mature love is the capacity to find enjoyment in the enjoyment of the other person’s enjoyment. It works both ways. read more »

Today was a usual therapy day. Some other days, I am more into business coaching and building our new e-business. This morning, I felt peaceful, happy and calm. I know this feeling. It often occurs to me while working with clients. And my 10 o’clock client, mentioned the same: working with people makes him feel calm and good. Why is this so, I wondered?

1. First, I remembered that I started to develop this pleasant feeling right after my first years of being a professional. Probably one needs to build ‘competence’ first, to feel selfconfident in what one is doing. So, if you read this and are still building competence in your profession, just accept that learning takes effort. And that there will be a day where you feel ok with what you do. Your customers will let you know when you do a good job and that will reinforce you.
2. Second, this pure concentration on one person – no phone calls, no interruptions – gives our brain the time to tune in, the time to focus and as we know from litterature: focus is that what provokes “flow” in a human beings. Focussing relieves stress & tension and opens us up for joy. I remember from my philosophy classes the quote of Jean-Paul Sartre, in “L’Être et le Néant”, describing self-consciousness as  ”Conscience de soi de quelque chose” (being aware of yourself through being aware of something).  Now, years later, I start to see that we become more ourself, indeed, when we focus on something else with dedication and concentration. read more »

At the facutly of philosophy, Hannelore and I became friends. After dreaming away in the worlds of possibilities that philosophers create with words, we went for a drink in Café Erasmus, right in front of our faculty of philosophy (Hoger Instituut Wijsbegeerte) in Leuven. The second half of the day, or maybe night, we would change the word during our nightly meta-discussions. This year, we rediscovered eachother and she offered me her last CD recording - she does with music what I do with people: create a context for inner harmony.  That night, I returned home and discovered the harmony and peace that came over me while listening to her. So, instead of buying an exotic commercial relaxation CD, I would recomend you, my friends, to consider her latest CD: “Hannelore De Vaere -- The Fellowship“. It Reminds me what reasearchers found out recently as one of the best cooping strategies for dealing with post traumatic stress: listen to your favorite music. It appeared to be more effective than most official “relaxation” techniques. Paul

Hannelore De Vaere: